ended love affair

Now, so this was how I spent my Valentines day. These pictures were supposed to be up a long time ago, but I just never had the time to edit and choose which would make the cut...blah blah blah blah boring blogger problems....anyways here they are...on the last day of February...which I got an extra day considering it is leap year...day...today.

You know I really disliked the idea of hating Valentines day this year. I really don't know why since I barely have time to socialize...GOD FORBID find a Valentine. So the great debate was what I was going to wear on Valentines Day. I had told my friend Karinna that I was going to dress in all black  with her that day, but when I woke up I just wasn't feeling it. So I took a risk (my biggest worry was looking cliche and then people thinking I was dressed up for somebody), and wore pink and white...ON VALENTINES DAY. I feel all my fellow downers just stoning me already.

 My friend Mrrm surprised me with this beautiful arrangement of fake flowers, chocolates, and a physics note sheet, covered in play-doh with words in French. Yonnelle was the first to point out that it was incorrect French for "Victor be mine"...you know, French natives always pointing out your French mistakes. But what was I going to do...it was wonderful. I am so happy she remembered orchids are my favorite flowers.

 This picture was taken at lunch, when we all got together to have some of Jessica's orange rolls (which are like cinnamon rolls with orange icing). Karinna is missing in the picture because she was wearing all black and didn't want to stand out.

 Jess and I had to take a picture together considering we were matching with pale pinks AND since were both wearing clothes we picked out for each other...and forced each other to buy. I am so glad made me buy that cream blazer, because it is really a blessing. Now I was asked a lot of things that day including (but not limited to):

HIGH SCHOOL RESPONSES TO MY OUTFITS

• "omg who are you dressed up for?"
• "OMG DO YOU HAVE A DATE TODAY?"
• "aww look at you"
• "why are you dressed like a rich person"

but the most interesting comment was...

• "why do you cut up shirts and then use only small parts of them???"

WELL AHA! Finally a question I am willing to answer. I explained to my friends my new pieces before, so I knew the answer to this right off the bat. I am really into illusions lately, maybe because we are learning about them in anatomy and psychology at the same time, so my new goal in life is to trick people into thinking I am wearing a collared shirt, or a long sleeved button up shirt...when I am actually not. (you can refer to my cuff bracelets below or my collars) So I just wear parts of shirts and make it look like I'm wearing the shirt you believe me to be wearing...but I am actually NOT! HA! It's all part of my goal to mess with people's heads until I drive them crazy.

 Cuff bracelets made by me, thrifted faux fur collar, thrifted fox ring

 Because this reminded me of Jessica's hair.

Now I put these .gifs in this post for a reason. Since everyone thought I looked so glamorous, I had to confess I was inspired by Versace Couture by rubbing some glam onto me. I mean just by Karlie Kloss towering, looking divine while she makes her way down the steps, you can tell it is going to be a good show...and then it all gets better when Lindsey Wixson just poses so dramatically fierce-like. It was a really good show, with really good clotes, and a lot of SPUNK. I would wear Versace Couture to prom if I could.

I love the music and the sound of the cameras flashing...so beautiful...so glamorous. 

obsessed with a 13 year old

Seeing as I'm eighteen, I should really feel very pedophilish with the title of this blog. However it is physically impossible to not be obsessed with "Hollywood's new princess" (as Teen Vogue calls her). Elle Fanning has really captivated my heart. I was (I probably still am) obsessed with Teen Vogue's February 2012 issue. Elle Fanning covered it in such a graceful, adorable smile. I have never been so obsessed with a Teen Vogue before; not even the issue where Alexa Chung was on the cover (and you know how much I love Alexa, all thanks to my friend Aimee. Speaking of Aimee, we both share a strong love for Elle.) I could not put down this issue, and I was so excited for it when I saw Elle's video of her cover shoot.

Just look at her when she introduces herself in the beginning of the video!! Has me clutching my heart and sending out tears (the same tears I sent out like when I saw the Givenchy Fall 2011 collection). She's just so incredibly adorable. HER VOICE. HER SMILE. HER EXCITEMENT. Jane Keltner de Valle was not exaggerating when she called her sunny. She is the SUN. I honestly she is a sun nymph disguised as a teenager in order to be able to wear Valentino couture and what not. Basically when I'm having a bad day, I watch this video and feel so giddy after.

I learned so much about her through the interview. Like she does ballet 5 times a week (LOVE), rather dress like a 2 year old than like a 21 year old, and she was the Morton salt girl for Halloween. She honestly has a more interesting life than me, and she's only in middle school. She's up there on my list of envy along with Alexa Chung, Rumi Neely, and Tavi Gevinson. I mean she wears RODARTE to school. I don't anyone else who wears Rodarte to MIDDLE SCHOOL. I so want to be her best friend. The two pictures above where taken by me (as in I took pictures of the pages in the magazine). I gave them a little grainy effect just to make them look timeless. I love the first picture of Elle wearing Marni. These pictures were taken right after I realized I don't live the same world as Elle...

I was so obsessed with this article by Jane Keltner de Valle. It talked about her journey from going from a no-hatter to a "mad hatter". She talked about how she used to never wear hats (unless at the beach or at the snow), but after wearing some Philip Treacy she realized how it wasn't too flashy to wear a hat on a normal day. I related to this, because I HATE hats. Well...I mean if I had a Philip Treacy hat, then that would be an exception. I love this picture just because I find it so regal, it's probably the Philip Treacy.

Speaking of Jane, I'm really obsessed with following Eva and her on Instagram because they post the perfect pictures. I'm also obsessed with handwriting. Karlie [Kloss] by far has the best handwriting I have ever seen. 

I was inspired to make my friends collage letters after reading Teen Vogue all day. HEY look you can see Karlie's cover! AND LOOK you can also see Elle's sissy Dakota's cover. I swear I didn't plan this. This is all some big coincidence that I noticed while typing.

And because I squealed when I saw this ad in print for the first time. I thought it was just a great coincidence since Elle said how much she loved this collection in her interview. She described the clothes to look like cupcakes. Cute huh?

P.S. Did you guys notice how many times I said obsessed in this post?? I've been really obsessed with using the word obsessed. OBSESSED OBSESSED OBSESSED.

Vogue Japan: Karlie Kloss

February 2012 | photographer: Hedi Slimane

I've always really enjoyed Karlie's look, so it was only natural that I fell in love with this editorial of her in this stripped down manner. I really like the styling because it resembles what Karlie wears off the runway.

Photos provided by Vogue Japan.

long awaited

New year, new news, new trends, new adventures. That's what we expect of every year. After we make those New Year resolutions, we slowly fall back to our old selves. Many of us don't experience any kind of change during the new year. OR SO WE THINK. Change comes like an unstoppable gust of wind and we are not able to avoid. Something happens to us every year that makes us a different person from what we were the year before. I always tend to blame the year for everything that went wrong, but this year as I tried to say that 2011 was a horrible year...I realized that there were so many more good moments than bad moments. For starters I created this blog which has been so much fun, and I really started sinking myself more into fashion. I applied for colleges, decided on a major, decided I need to now change my major when I get accepted, and planned my life after high school. 

 For me 2012 will have unavoidable change. I will start out a new life (hopefully in New York) and my parents might come along, and then again they might not. However I know that I will finally have to confront all my fears, and my disadvantages to become the person I wish to be.

Lately I've been really worried about not being able to get into a NYC school. I've actually been panicking ever since I submitted my application. It's not that I don't think I can get in, because I think I have a pretty good chance, it's just that I'm afraid that no school will take me. My fear is a little irrational, but it is realistic. I've thought about my options if I don't get in though, and they are actually not that bad. I think there is a really good chance that NYC is my future.

I did take time to plan how I was going to react if I don't get in to any schools. After watching the Sex and the City move for about the trillionth time, I figured that if I'm going to mope about not getting into a school then I'm going to do it glamorously. I'm going to buy myself a black fur coat, and big dark glasses. I'm going to walk around all depressed, and let a tear run down my cheek every time someone mentions college. I was mostly inspired by Carrie Bradshaw's moping in Mexico. I just made my reaction more wintry. And I'll do this just for the fun of being dramatic. I like to listen to Alicia Key's Empire State of Mind Pt. 2 to prepare the water works.

New Years Eve this year was very quite, and very short. The only time I was really excited was when Lady Gaga was performing in Times Square. I thought about how far she has come to get where she is now, and it was so inspiring. Mostly because of New York, but also because it shows how people become successful in the most unexpected ways. I then proceeded to count down until New Years, which we were the last to do so since we are in California. I know that next years New Years will be spent in such an epic way! (Confession: I hate using the word epic, but that's the best adjective for the situation) 

My outfit this year was simple. Mostly because I didn't have anything to wear that was blingy, but because we were spending NYE at my uncle's house and since he is Mormon I didn't want to exaggerate. I kept it quite conservative, because there were so many Mormon visitors I didn't want to be disturbed by their looks. I actually ended up going to some Mormon event the next day, and I went even more conservative. I was so disappointed to start the year off in such a conservative manner. However my mom didn't think my necklace was very conservative, so it made me feel better knowing I still stood out.

Gifted shirt, grey H&M pants, H&M metallic necklace 

I really liked the necklace because I've been really into metallic jewelry and what not. I bought it in SF when I went on my little shopping trip. I loved the way that the gold stood out from the Cerulean blue shirt. It also reminded my of Lady Gaga's orbit head piece, which I was in love with when she was using it everywhere. I had always planned buying one and wearing it to school. OH FRESHMAN DREAMS. I love the way the necklace reflects onto walls and my neck. PERFECTION.

The following are a little of my 2012 inspirations. They include Audrey Hepburn, Daphne Groeneveld, Marc Jacobs Spring/Summer 2012, Daphne Guinness, and Karlie Kloss...and then Daphne Guinness again....and Gisele for Givenchy (I love the ads).

Now this is a little outfit I put together; it's my dream NYE outfit. It's darker than what most people wear for NYE, but I like my outfits dark for special occasions. The pants are Proenza Schouler, the jacket is Top Shop, the necklace is Givenchy, and the boots are Doc Martens.

I just made a Polyvore account, and I don't get it too much quite yet, but I plan on making little dream outfits occasionally for the blog.

Hope you guys are enjoying 2012 so far. My favorite news of the early year are. Katy Perry and Russel Brand file for divorce (it just makes her song The One Who Got Away ironic okay...), Kanye West announces his DW by Kanye West Twitter account is fake, AND that the label isn't even called DW (it's just Kanye West).

I've waited for 2012 for so long. It's the year I turn 18, finish high school, and start college. It's going to be full of me getting over a lot of things and confronting my responsibilities as an adult possibly living on his own. AND WE FIND OUT IF THE WORLD ACTUALLY ENDS ON DECEMBER 21!

reckless emotions + fiery phoenix

Splashes of creativity just surge to my head every once in a while, and by creativity I mean motivation to do something. These surges usually occur during certain events. For example, once I get over PMS (Pre-Magazine Syndrome), which is when I freak out because my magazines haven't arrived in the mail. I actually have meltdowns while waiting for my mailman to deliver my babies. It's become a really big problem actually, because I now really have a love/hate relationship with the USPS; which is why the day is blessed when I come home to find shiny new magazines for me to read and look at.

This summer I saw some pictures of dip-dyed shirts. I don't really recall which exact picture I saw, but I believe it was one being done by somebody who worked at Calvin Klein. It was a set of pictures that showed the process of someone dip-dying a shirt. That picture really inspired me to do my own shirt. The process was a hassle the first time around. It was my first time actually dying something by myself (and where I actually cared what it was going to look like). Long story short, I got red on the part that I wanted to remain white. I gave up for about a week, and then decided to bleach the white part. That was another mess because then I got bleach on the red part and it was horrible. The red turned yellowish and it just was a mess. Round 3, I bought more dye and was careful and I was quite happy with my results. 

 I was really fascinated by the way the dye swirled into the hot water. It reminded me of Jupiter's red spot. It also made me feel like I was a witch preparing for a spell. I really was though, I was going to turn an unwanted Goodwill shirt into a beautiful addition to my closet. Magic in the making, recycling and making wonders. Eat you hearts out people.

This is the part where the mistakes are usually made.

However this time as you can see, no mistakes were made whatsoever. I loved the way the sun shined through it and made it seem like it was on fire. The red was so beautiful while it was red, it ended up being lighter once it dried but I wasn't complaining since I was overall happy with the outcome. I mean after three times, it was really like they say "third times the charm". You can really see the details of the shirt here, I love the embroidery and the pattern it makes. 

My whole idea for this shoot and the outfit was inspired by Natalia Kills' song "Kill My Boyfriend". The idea was that this was the result of a murder's shirt after committing the murder. In Natalia's song she shows this double-sided opinion on her boyfriend. The sound combined with the lyrics makes the song full of irony. So when shooting this I wanted to make it ironic also. This sick minded idea of murder, combined with my mother's garden which is full of life. It complemented the song and my ideas.

 Shirt is thrifted, Cotton On pants were cut into the shorts, shoes (pictured in the other picture) are thrifted

I’ve been thinking about emotions a lot lately. Lately I feel happy, not giddy happy, but just you know content. Things have been going okay, not the best, but not the worst. I’ve been really busy with school to actually pay attention to my emotions. Sometimes however, I catch myself singing slow songs and just craving listening to slow sad songs. I never listen to slow songs unless I am actually sad, so this really confuses me.

 One day while listening to Amy Winehouse I came to a conclusion. I think it’s the fact that lately hasn’t been very emotional time in my life, that I crave an extreme emotion. I crave the idea of getting my heart broken, the idea of feeling depressed; on the other hand I also crave being so happy that I feel unstoppable. Have I lost my emotions? Will I go on through life craving an extreme emotion, but never get it? What if an opportunity comes up to be extreme, but I don’t notice it?

I just wish the shirt wouldn't fray, since I cut the sleeves. It pisses me off, but it will have to do for now. I really need to learn how to avoid that because I like sleeveless shirts, and I make most of mine. I think it would be best if I learned how to sew. What I love most about this shirt (besides the embroidery) is the collar. I love the shape so much. My mission was complete however when I wore this to school and was asked: "What's up with your shirt?". I just smiled and responded: "I killed someone and couldn't get the stains off".

Saskia de Brauw - Just because she is my inspiration to always look mad in pictures.

Stella Tennant // Vogue Italia September 2011 

Karlie Kloss in "Go East!" // Vogue September 2011 

I think that without the emotions that we go through everyday we wouldn't be the humans we are today. No matter how silly an emotion might sound, it is still powerful. Emotions define our humanity. No matter if your emotions are because of magazines or a heartbreak, they have the power to rebuild you and make you stronger.