reckless emotions + fiery phoenix

Splashes of creativity just surge to my head every once in a while, and by creativity I mean motivation to do something. These surges usually occur during certain events. For example, once I get over PMS (Pre-Magazine Syndrome), which is when I freak out because my magazines haven't arrived in the mail. I actually have meltdowns while waiting for my mailman to deliver my babies. It's become a really big problem actually, because I now really have a love/hate relationship with the USPS; which is why the day is blessed when I come home to find shiny new magazines for me to read and look at.

This summer I saw some pictures of dip-dyed shirts. I don't really recall which exact picture I saw, but I believe it was one being done by somebody who worked at Calvin Klein. It was a set of pictures that showed the process of someone dip-dying a shirt. That picture really inspired me to do my own shirt. The process was a hassle the first time around. It was my first time actually dying something by myself (and where I actually cared what it was going to look like). Long story short, I got red on the part that I wanted to remain white. I gave up for about a week, and then decided to bleach the white part. That was another mess because then I got bleach on the red part and it was horrible. The red turned yellowish and it just was a mess. Round 3, I bought more dye and was careful and I was quite happy with my results. 

 I was really fascinated by the way the dye swirled into the hot water. It reminded me of Jupiter's red spot. It also made me feel like I was a witch preparing for a spell. I really was though, I was going to turn an unwanted Goodwill shirt into a beautiful addition to my closet. Magic in the making, recycling and making wonders. Eat you hearts out people.

This is the part where the mistakes are usually made.

However this time as you can see, no mistakes were made whatsoever. I loved the way the sun shined through it and made it seem like it was on fire. The red was so beautiful while it was red, it ended up being lighter once it dried but I wasn't complaining since I was overall happy with the outcome. I mean after three times, it was really like they say "third times the charm". You can really see the details of the shirt here, I love the embroidery and the pattern it makes. 

My whole idea for this shoot and the outfit was inspired by Natalia Kills' song "Kill My Boyfriend". The idea was that this was the result of a murder's shirt after committing the murder. In Natalia's song she shows this double-sided opinion on her boyfriend. The sound combined with the lyrics makes the song full of irony. So when shooting this I wanted to make it ironic also. This sick minded idea of murder, combined with my mother's garden which is full of life. It complemented the song and my ideas.

 Shirt is thrifted, Cotton On pants were cut into the shorts, shoes (pictured in the other picture) are thrifted

I’ve been thinking about emotions a lot lately. Lately I feel happy, not giddy happy, but just you know content. Things have been going okay, not the best, but not the worst. I’ve been really busy with school to actually pay attention to my emotions. Sometimes however, I catch myself singing slow songs and just craving listening to slow sad songs. I never listen to slow songs unless I am actually sad, so this really confuses me.

 One day while listening to Amy Winehouse I came to a conclusion. I think it’s the fact that lately hasn’t been very emotional time in my life, that I crave an extreme emotion. I crave the idea of getting my heart broken, the idea of feeling depressed; on the other hand I also crave being so happy that I feel unstoppable. Have I lost my emotions? Will I go on through life craving an extreme emotion, but never get it? What if an opportunity comes up to be extreme, but I don’t notice it?

I just wish the shirt wouldn't fray, since I cut the sleeves. It pisses me off, but it will have to do for now. I really need to learn how to avoid that because I like sleeveless shirts, and I make most of mine. I think it would be best if I learned how to sew. What I love most about this shirt (besides the embroidery) is the collar. I love the shape so much. My mission was complete however when I wore this to school and was asked: "What's up with your shirt?". I just smiled and responded: "I killed someone and couldn't get the stains off".

Saskia de Brauw - Just because she is my inspiration to always look mad in pictures.

Stella Tennant // Vogue Italia September 2011 

Karlie Kloss in "Go East!" // Vogue September 2011 

I think that without the emotions that we go through everyday we wouldn't be the humans we are today. No matter how silly an emotion might sound, it is still powerful. Emotions define our humanity. No matter if your emotions are because of magazines or a heartbreak, they have the power to rebuild you and make you stronger. 

La Chanson de la Sirène

Summer comes to an end, and then we have that awkward moment in time where it's not really fall yet, but it's not summer anymore (well if you just consider summer the time you have off school). Besides the fact that the last few days of summer were stressful for me, considering school was around the corner (well even more than that actually) and I wasn't 100% prepared to enter my senior year. Things felt odd. Being a senior, and having every upperclassmen from my years of high school message me and tell me "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GONNA BE A SENIOR ALREADY", was really...just bizarre. 

I'm sitting in bed, thinking of what to expect out of this year. I want to do so many things, yet I have so little spare time to do so. I have school (with 4 AP classes), homework (for 4 AP classes), this blog, and I wanted to either work or do drama again. Before the year even started I decided to skip the first show of this year. I wanted to get a job, and it would be impossible to get a job and then juggle the rest of my duties and life. I didn't want to commit to drama, and I didn't want to do drama without being committed to it 100% (wow why am I statistical?).

Besides the fact that I have to worry about college a lot more this year, I am really looking forward to this final year. I love my schedule, and I really am excited to be in all my classes. Psychology and AP Government sound like they will be great to let out my ideas and emotions in the morning. Then I have AP Calculus, which just really stresses me about how much I know about math. After, I have AP French with my new FRENCH teacher from FRANCE! (shout out to you Mme. S!!!) Then I conclude the day with Anatomy and AP Literature. It's going to be a lot of work, but I'm sure I will enjoy it!

The first day of school I decided to wear something that really stood out, but going through my closet nothing really seemed interesting enough. I put a bunch of things together and I got this. I thought the outfit was simple, yet it was very different. The colors were a great way to stand out without looking like a neon sign, and my handmade necklace completed the whole look . I really like how I have so much "tension" in my face.

 

Thrifted shirt, H&M pants, mermaid necklace made by me

Off topic, but I am pretty sure this was the day I got hit on by some freshman at my school. Ok just to clear things up. Telling me, "I love your style" or "I love your clothes" isn't a very good pickup line. I feel like you are only looking at my clothes and not...well me. I really don't know what I am trying to say here, but even though my clothes are a representation of my individuality, don't assume that I will take you seriously if you use my clothes as a way to get closer to me...especially if you're a freshman... mwahahahaha. (Notice how being a senior has gotten to my head)

Now that we are on the topic I want to address the idea of fashion + love. When I read magazines I always see that guys don't like the clothes that we fashion people like (harem pants, loose shirts, oversized sweaters) and it irks me because society has created this idea of sexiness and it sucks to be DISCRIMINATED against for looking good. I mean yeah there's that cheesy saying that says "oh well someone will love you no matter what you look like" but sometimes I wonder why should we try to look good for other "non-fashion" people if they really don't appreciate what we give them. How can you get someone's attention if one day you look "normal" and the other you are channeling a skeleton. I personally rather be single. I am really unpredictable and restless and I will only settle for someone that doesn't want to tame me. But I still wonder, are there any people out there who are turned on by the eccentric and avant garde fashion?..I mean people who aren't into fashion. Or is every risk taker doomed to a lonely single life. I would really love to get someone's opinion on this...someone like Tavi.

When I made this necklace I wanted to be able to compliment the mermaid charm I got at an antique store, but still make the charm the major focus. When I used the green beads, I thought about balance. I think it's because it reminded me of that scene in Mulan where the grandma tells her to wear "beads of jade for beauty", and to me these signified balance. I am really obsessed with balance in life and fashion, just as much as I am obsessed with things being proportional. To me the mermaid is a creature with such grace and power; which to me are balanced characteristics. I really think that it was more of a good luck charm for the first day of school. Plus, it really made the outfit stand out even more.

This picture was important because it shows me in my meditation mode.

I am like the angry Ariel.

Thrifted boots.

Again with the tension in my face. Why am I so awkward when it come to people taking pictures of me. My bffl Karinna took this. She was dying because she's into the whole pastel look, and well this was like her favorite. She took it while everyone awkwardly ate lunch on the first day of school.

 

 

 

Isabel Lucas at Coachella 2011 was my #1 inspiration for this look.

This is such a great start to the Fall season...well you can consider it Pre-Fall, but to me it's fall. Next week should be interesting with NYFW coming up. I'm going to try to review my favorite collections as the shows start all over the world. I love September! WHICH REMINDS ME!!!!!

I just want to thank Paris from W for sending me my September Issue of W through express mail!!! I had a problem with my magazines this month (which you can probably see how much I freak out over them if you follow my twitter!). I was supposed to wait 6-8 weeks for this to come in, but I am so happy it came in today, because it made my day better. I also love that it came after I had a meltdown at the grocery store when I saw it. I also love how it came perfectly untouched (no scratches, tears, or bends). So a big kiss and shout out to Paris, may the Fashion Gods bless you.

Until we meet again...

 Another summer goes by. My last summer as a high school student. My last months before college starts and I begin the next chapter. Before I continue with the sentimental things (and the cliché sentences), I would like to show you my last week of the Summer of '11. 

So my last week of  summer was supposed to be dedicated to the summer homework I didn't do the whole summer, but instead I did more things in one week then I did most of my summer. I first visited my local Catholic church (expecting it to be open, like in the movies where you can walk in whenever you want), but it wasn't open so I just went to the Lady of Guadalupe altar. It took me like 15 matches to be able to light one of the candles there. People parked near the altar where just busy looking at me waste the matches someone left for the community to use.

You know not many kids go to the altar during summer, I even doubt they go during school. (Well maybe the overachievers so they can pass their tests, but usually those are atheist and believe in science.)

The summer assassins that usually don't do much if you just throw them under your bed.

Here were the rare times I tried to annotate. I think this was taken on the Wednesday before school started. I was on page 37...

I really rather not discuss this annotation business, so I'll leave you with a quote from 1984.

That Friday I went to Niles, which is a little street in the nearby town that has a variety of antique stores. They sell from clothes, to furniture, to Nazi memorabilia. The only thing is that most of the things are really expensive (like the Miss Dior Cherie perfume bottle, EMPTY, for $6). My friend Jessenia was on the look out for a birthday present for her mom. She ended up buying some really nice rings and necklaces.

Some of the stores were marvelous (like Thyme for Tea), but others I hated (like the one that gave me a sassy look). You can really find anything your little heart desires at these antique stores. Some stuff that is so old and the modern version is worth more than the antique version (fur coats). If you have a couple of bucks to spare for some cool decoration then this is the perfect place.

This was my least favorite store because of the treatment to their customers, (aka me who got in trouble for taking this picture. lady if you don't want pictures then put up a sign or tell me WHEN YOU SEE ME HOLDING A CAMERA) but it was beautiful. It had a very nice 20's and 50's theme. There were also all these roses spread out on the furniture. I only got through 1/4 of the store when I was offended by her tone and decided to leave.

H&M shirt, shorts are thrifted.

shoes are thrifted, I call them my sunday old man shoes. The were probably some old man's sunday shoes.

Necklace F21. I really like looking at the deep blues when the sun hits them.

I tried to look kind of casual for this whole trip since I was going to be walking around a bunch of place, and then taking like 256 buses. So I dressed up like my version of a tourist, and I went around touring my neighborhood. I had loads of fun this day, and I later went back that Sunday to buy a pendant for a necklace.

The next part of my summer was spent watching the greatest show known to the man... or woman. Anyways, I started watching this show over from the beginning. I finished about 3 seasons and I really ended up wasting good annotating time. This show isn't for the immature, just because of the sex scenes, but if you look past that the show just makes you laugh (I never laugh when watching T.V. or a movie, I'm just heartless like that and don't find anything funny, except for this show though). My favorite character is Carrie (of course), but I ADORE Samantha's humor. She can basically say anything and it will have me rolling.

Another thing I did this last week was go and help the incoming Freshmen learn the secrets to high school and get acquainted with the school and it's policies. It's this group called Link Crew, and it was my first year participating in it. I really enjoyed it, but I enjoyed standing out from the crowd the most. We were given a boring shirt to wear the day of the Freshman orientation, and not only did I cut it (too much actually that I had to make completely new seams), but I painted it with acrylic paint. My group's theme was jungle/safari so I painted some of it cheetah print.

Everyone really seemed to love it, and they just loved how different it was. I mean there were some people who painted little names and paw prints on their shirt (or my friend Marissa, who was in my group, who did cheetah print, but a bigger less intricate version), but my was something completely different. Not only did the bottom half get really hard it also reeked of the paint fumes. So I was probably ditsy that whole day because I was exposed to toxic fumes the whole day.

Our theme: Jungle Fever (inspired by Watch the Throne)

As you may have noticed, I cut my hair for back to school. I cut the bottom half of the sides really short and then pointed it at the back. So it is like a mohawk but it really can't compare.

I also went to Goodwill and made the biggest, bestest discovery of my life. A CHRISTIAN DIOR SHIRT (most likely Hommes). It was just so beautiful that I had to have it (I would have been super stupid if I didn't want it because it was only $3). I don't want to post the shirt yet because I want it to make it's debut when I make an outfit post with it.

I now also present you to the pride and joy of my summer (well I took this the 2nd day of school, but I was still in summer thoughts so it counts). I got a new phone this summer. A beautiful little Blackberry Curve. I just enjoyed it even more, because I didn't have a phone for a week since my old phone broke. I didn't really miss my phone until I got my Blackberry and I don't know how I survived a week. Also this is the September issue of Vogue, which I waited forever for my last week of school. I finally gave up and bought it, because obviously Conde Nast doesn't want to deliver it to my house. I really hope I get it sometime, because I want to have a copy I can rip and cut up.

Now, I leave you with this rose bush with a promise. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LOVE MY SEPTEMBER POSTS. I have some ideas for what posts to do (like about 3-4), but I'm sure I will only end up doing maybe 2-3. They are all really cool, and I am so excited to share with you guys.

This next month I start the Fall season on this blog, so it is the best because I have been really inspired and I just have so many ideas. Also what is exciting is that every post has something very special to me; either because I made it or because it is one of my favorite pieces from my closet. September-November should be full of different things, that I haven't put on this blog. The whole ideas and inspirations really play a different role, and go in a different direction than my summer posts. So, if you hated prepare to eat your heart out.