The Covers of Time

Time for me has been a big issue lately. I think about how I want time to go by faster, but I fear that if it does I won't be prepared for what it brings. I feel like I'm stuck in time, and that the things I want to accomplish aren't coming any time soon. I have a lot of things that I wish I was doing. I surround myself with professional ideals that I can't attain at my young age. At the same time I feel like I'm just being impatient. Maybe it's just that I want so many things, that I have to work for. However, it's not money or power that I want. I just want an opportunity to start somewhere, start from nothing. I just want to start. 

This might be the disadvantage of knowing what I wanted at such a young age. I studied and researched my career choices so in depth. I found people to look up to, and followed everything they did. In almost 3 years I had plans to accomplish anything I wanted. The problem is that it seems like life isn't making me follow my plans, and you know sometimes life does that to you. I just had to start over and come up with a new game plan. Sometimes a set back allows you to acknowledge the realities in life, and helps you devise a plan that is more realistic. I think reality is sometimes the leading obstacles in dreams. 

I sometimes read fashion magazines and spend so much time reading the masthead. I look at the names and their job titles, and think about how much I would like to work, associate, and converse with them. I just read the articles and look at the content, hoping that maybe I'll be involved in the process (even if the only thing I did was run for the coffee that helped with those long days). I often sit there, a little sad, and wonder if indeed that will one day be me. It's a little pessimistic to feel sad about not being somewhere you can't be at the moment, but it's just that I desire to be apart of something. To put my ideas, or just a bit of my help, into creating something with others. The thing about reality is that it can be as good as fantasy, it's just much harder to obtain. 

In my moments of "depression", I like to surround myself with my favorite magazines. I started organizing my pile of magazines that had accumulated in a couple of months. I sorted them, and separated them according to the publication company. I then took them into the garage to put them away in my archives. I had magazines from August through October, and they were to soon be with years of magazines. As I uncovered my little archives I realized something. I saw magazines that I had received not too long ago, yet in publication terms they felt so old. I realized that time does pass, and quite quickly. I noticed that as fast as I receive magazines every month, the time and seasons change. I thought that maybe in a few years I would come back to look at my archives, and look at the magazines that still felt so recent but were of the years I dreamed of belonging somewhere. So I grew a bit of optimism, because with every magazine I get, time goes by. As I read and research, I'll soon get to the place I aspire and it will seem like time flew by. Time flies faster by the flip of a page.

paint away

So I had originally made plans to go to the beach with my friends. I knew I was going to have a little shoot for a post, but my plans got washed away. My friend suggested we go into the city, and I didn't have a problem with that since I needed to go get my watercolor supplies. So that was the first thing we did, and I was so happy to find everything in the store for so much cheaper than online. I really don't understand how that works out, but it did. I really wanted to start watercoloring because I just felt like I needed another creative outlet. I use this blog mostly for creative reasons, but sometimes I don't want to post so much because I feel like it would be so obnoxious to talk about me wearing clothes ALL THE TIME. I really also don't like the idea of having so many of my outfits on the internet. I decided to do watercoloring because I felt like it would be easier for me. I've tried acrylics and oils before, and I just feel like it takes so much color combining to get a specific color. I was just really attracted to watercoloring, it may be because I see so many beautiful watercolor pieces that are so abstract. I love that because I'm not a realistic person when it comes to drawing or doodling. I often just do a lot of different things and I'm satisfied with it. My drawing skills are not comparable to Leonardo Da Vinci (fact: I almost typed Leonardo DiCaprio which is semi accurate if you consider 'his" drawings in Titanic), to be blunt I'm not too good. Yet I see so many watercolor pieces that include drawings that aren't perfect, but the doodle effect that they portray makes sense. I just feel like watercolor can be so simple, yet when you include the color you create so many different emotions.

I think emotions are another reason I chose watercolors. I sometimes go through really strong emotions, and I don't know how to let them out. I've always envied people who could write, draw, or sing because I feel like they can do somethings so passionate with their emotions to create beautiful works of art. I've tried a lot of things to express my emotions, and most things just don't seem right sometimes. I mean fashion is something I use to express myself, but there's only SO MUCH you can do with fashion. That's why I wanted to take up something else, because I think it's so important to have more than one hobby. Watercolor pieces to me are so beautiful. I really like the way the paint and water come together to almost dance across the pages, using the brush as a guide. It's not like most paints that stay a certain color, watercolors change over time. When you put them on the paper, they seem so much darker and restless, yet as they dry they seem to settle down and lighten up in color. I just thought it was also romantic, yet the way the paint sometimes spills across the lines of a drawing is almost tragic and beautiful at the same time. I just really feel like I can put so many emotions into watercoloring, so it makes sense that I use something that portrays so many emotions to me.

I tried to take pictures in front of the gates of Maiden Lane, which is so beautiful to me. The Gates of Maiden Lane set aside an alley full of wonderful treasures. Maiden Lane is home to Chanel, Marc Jacobs, Prada, and so much more. It's almost like the gates of a palace. I also loved the way you could see the beautiful pillar/statue of Union Square. Of course the San Francisco fog wan't helping me take pictures. The pictures came our really foggy, but I liked the way they they make everything seem a little sad and mysterious. It reminds me of the old pictures you see of people in the city, it's a lot of nostalgia I guess.

Zara shirt, H&M pants, thrifted red shoes, thrifted bag

When I first saw this shirt, I fell in love with it. We first met at the Zara store in SF. I loved the scarf attached to it, and it just looked really chic. I didn't end up buying it until I saw it on sale online. I love wearing it, especially in the city. I love how it blows in the wind, and I love covering my face and feeling like I'm in a Middle Eastern desert.

I saw this wonderful Amy Winehouse memorial on Haight. They have a lot of these dedicated to artists who have passed away. I always wanted to take a picture, but there are always people around, but I finally got my chance. There is a plant in the middle, which I like because to me it symbolizes a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Here is my first attempt at watercoloring, I really liked the way the paper I used to sample the colors turned out. It reminded me of lipstick smudges on a napkin. The colors look really good together. I was trying to find the perfect shade of red.

Here's my first piece. I have always been obsessed with teeth and lips. I already knew that I was going to paint this even before I bought my paints. I just really wanted to do it, and I liked the way it turned out. I love the combination of white, black, and red. I am going to post more of my pieces, just to show you guys what I am working on...and so we have something more to converse about.

scarab beetle

While at family parties, I usually take the time to separate myself from the rest and either just sit there and catch up on the internet's info. Scrolling through Twitter, Instagram, etc. all on my iPhone. This party wasn't any different. After 2 Venti Iced Coffees, I had just enough energy to get a little photoshoot going. I had been wanting to shoot this shirt for a while now. I got it a couple months back from my local Goodwill. It's a pretty trippy shirt. The shirt from faraway looks purple, but up close you can see it is a combination of a wine color and a teal print of waves. In the sun the shirt changes colors. As I move, the sun hits the shirt at different angles causing to look like different shades of colors. It reminds me the way a beetle sometimes has that variation of color whenever they are hit by the light.Unfortunately I couldn't catch the variation of color in pictures, but I mean I'll leave that up to your imagination.

The has a nice print on the inside too. It is the same print as the the outside, but just that the waves are in a cream color. The shirt really has oriental shine to it, being from Thailand and all, and the silk just gives it such a smooth texture.

Thrifted shirt, H&M pants, Thrifted shoes

I also always feel a little extraterrestrial in this shirt. It must be the shine it has to it. It gives me Zenon, Girl of the 21st Century vibes at times. It is just a combination of a lot of vibes, and I really like that. I think it makes people guess more when they just see me sitting there all by myself.

Vogue encounter

Well while the cover of Vogue's latest September issue is still being talked about, I thought I would share my opinion and a little Vogue related story. When I saw the cover I was so shocked. THE HAIR. THE RIBBON. THE DRESS. Those stood out to me the most. I personally didn't like the hair. I thought it was just weird and just plain confusing. For a minute, I hated the cover. After staring at it longer and letting it sink in, I saw it in a different perspective. To me it looked like a statue. It was sculpted to present the biggest issue of Vogue EVER. The ribbon that adorned the masthead seem to be celebrating Vogue, in a time where digital subscriptions were at a rise; while print sales of the issue were declining. Those 120 years of style had not gone in vain. This cover shocked most of us, because US Vogue is usually much more conservative. The fact that Anna Wintour let Grace Coddington go all out for the cover was impressive, much more than most people appreciated. I really feel like this cover celebrates the art and symbolism of fashion, and it also sends out a shocking cover to a newsstand covered with pretty little covers this month. This was clearly a sales tatic. Gaga and a shocking cover? Of course it will catch most eyes on the newsstands, which leads to more sales. So while some complain about the ribbon or the hair (which I know see as a sculpture of hair on a sculpture of beauty), Vogue will have one of the biggest sales for an issue. You guys all know you will still be buying it. And now for my story:

It was a normal morning. I had just eaten a light breakfast, and was preparing to wash the dishes. I used any excuse to procrastinate having to wet my hands and dry them out with dish soap. After having checked my instagram and twitter over and over, I contemplated the important events in life. Gaga was tweeting saying she was texting Anna Wintour to get her to release the cover of the September Issue, which has the popstar on the cover. I was thinking "girl who do you think you are??? Like yeah you're one of the biggest popstars out there, but you have no power to decide when the cover gets released". However, I was also thinking that Gaga did have a point to want the cover to be released and it wouldn't hurt to be released early. So I was doubting whether or not the cover would be released.

After much procrastination, I was about to wash the dishes when I saw my first emails of the morning rushing in. I had three. I mostly get promotional emails from brands or magazines. This was no exception. I had a Little Monster newsletter,which I usually delete before reading. I then had a letter from The BTW foundation, which I read really quick and then moved onto the next one.

I started out reading the email from Vogue, I thought it would be another "personalized" subscription offer, however when I read the content I was shocked. I VICTOR VERDUGO HAD WON THE VOGUE SEPTEMBER ISUE SWEEPSTAKES. I thought, "this must be spam!!! They could have hacked the system and got everyone's email". However, I noticed that it didn't ask for any more info or to proceed to the link given. It just said I won, and had to sit tight until I got it (not those exact words). I was still in doubt, I ran to the bathroom and called the number of Andee Olson. It took a few rings before a woman answered. She didn't say hello or said who she was. All she said was "Vogue" in a slight accent. I froze. I was in contact with someone at Vogue. Never did I think I would say that. I stuttered and said I had received an email saying I won the Sweepstakes, "is this true?". I was so mad that I couldn't think straight. The glamour of Vogue was getting to my head. I was so overwhelmed. My dad, who was in the process of cleaning the bathroom was knocking on the door "what are you doing in there!?? Don't sit on the toilet seat!!! It has bleach!!!!!!"I wanted to yell at my dad "DAD IM TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH SOMEONE FROM VOGUE, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!". The Vogue girl responded, "yes it is true you won the sweepstakes". How was she so sure?!? I replied "OMG THANK YOU". This all happened in a time lapse of 3 minutes.

I told my dad, "OMG I won the Vogue book!!!!!!!" He was totally confused, and I didn't care to explain. He then wasn't shocked since I said the book cost about $40; yet, that book to me cost a million!! I went on twitter to share my exciting news in my overwhelmed tone. After hours of enjoying my news, I went online to remember when I entered the sweepstakes; which was not too long ago. That's where I saw it. THE BEST PART ABOUT WINNING WAS THAT I WAS GOING TO RECEIVE A SIGNED BOOK BY ANNA, GRACE, HAMISH, TONNE, ANDRÉ, AND MORE. That all had the worth of about a billion LIVES in my eyes. My heart could not take all this excitement. Vogue: The Editor's Eye was a book I wanted to buy as soon as I heard of it. My dream is to be an editor, and Vogue is the pinnacle of that dream. It was all just so perfect. I saw it like inspiration to pursue my dream, with even more motivation than before. I felt so blessed. 

Let me tell you how I won, just so you can see how I didn't expect winning. When I heard about the Sweepstakes I initially thought you had to guess how many pages where in the book they offered as a prize. HA! That would be easy! All it would take is a quick visit to the Amazon listing of the book. I entered the number of pages of the book. I was sure to win! Vogue hadn't thought this through, it was all too easy. Then I read the rules. I didn't have to guess the number of pages in the book, but I had to guess the number of pages in the September issue of Vogue; which would be the biggest yet. GREAT, I ruined my chances to win. However I saw that I was still able to win. I just had to ask a friend to join the Sweepstakes using my personal link. I asked my friend to play, and told her what to guess. My friend has no interest in fashion, so if she would have won...I would get the prize (well I hoped I would). I didn't think about it anymore. So when I received the email I knew I won because I referred a friend to join. That one entry, out of the 10 I could have gotten if I referred more, had won me the best prize ever! 

You can see why I was so baffled about winning. I just appreciated more and felt like it was meant to be. I was meant to win a book signed my many people I admired. It was all to remind me to stay on track of my dreams. I know the road is going to be tough. I know it isn't as winning a book. I'm just going to work even harder now, because I know I can really accomplish a lot if I just forget the obstacles and focus on the result of my hard work.

Here is the only picture I could find of the cover, it's shitty but you get the idea.

Hombré

t-shirt I dyed myself but got at school, Zara harem shorts, thrifted loafers

You know sometimes I just casually go online and just look at clothes, and if something REALLY pops out and has free shipping (I hate paying for shipping) I'll probably buy it. When I saw these shorts on the Zara website I just knew I had to have them because: 1) I always wanted harem bottoms 2) Zara has free shipping. So when they arrived I was thrilled; actually I was confused because they look so weird when you're not wearing them. They reminded me of a tote bag or a parachute. I just put them on and they looked great once on my body. My mom hates them, and my dad asked me "umm what are those" when I put them on this morning. He passed the test though, since he took me shopping to Trader Joe's while I paraded down the isles. I've shown you all my shirt before. When I actually thought about wearing the shorts for the first time, I had planned another shirt from Zara but I didn't want to Zara you guys all out (if that is even possible). I really like this shirt, because I feel like it makes a statement, being supportive of LGBT rights, but it also is nice just for lounging along in life.

jumanji

Midsummer days are always filled with me trying to either get out of the house or I stay in and waste my life away on the computer. Here I was hanging out with friends at Sonics. I love Sonics because I eat it once in a blue moon, but I always end up ordering so much. I took these pictures while a snuggling Asian couple looked at me, and the quirky employees warned me about the wet grass. The employees must be the weirdest people ever, and seeing them in skates doesn't help.

I'm trying so hard to start reading books again. I feel like my mind needs to be active and it needs a little brain food. I just need to really let my mind wander into something else other than reality. I used to let myself worry about the problems of the women on Desperate Housewives, but I hate how all the characters have changed and I didn't like the changes. Now I just need another escape. I have a couple of books on my list, and I'll try to tell you guys about my readings.

Zara Top, H&M Pants, vintage shoes and thrfited glasses

I really love my paradise shirt. I was initially going to wear it to the Rookie Meetup, but I already told you guys about how the weather seemed to screw me over. I feel like the shirt has some Givenchy vibes, with a combination of Altuzarra. It it perfect for just a day out and relaxing.

my new favorite model

Now when I first read about a fresh model, I wasn't too attracted until I read she was Mexican. You know my friend Briana always asks me about black models, and once she asked me if there were any famous Mexican models that I was proud of (I am Mexican which is why she asked). I told her I didn't really know any, which got me wondering why. I concluded that most are "too ethnic" or maybe since Latina's are usually more curvy they don't really make it in the high fashion world. So Marina Rivero, signed to Paragon Model Management, caught my eye quickly as I read she was from Mexico. The whole story changed when I saw her pictures. This girl blew me away. She has such a classic beautiful look. Her stare is so innocent and deer like. The shape of her face is interesting too. I am really interested to see how she does in the U.S. and New York. I would love to see this girl's career soar. I am really rooting she books some big designers, because she has the measurements and the walk to conquer the world.

Photos from models.com and paragonmodelmanagement.blogspot.com

I'm the new Blake Lively

I just recently read this article by one of my favorite Rookie writers, Leeann, which talked about how nowadays fashion bloggers often bloat in posts where they claim they haven't worn jeans in a while. I found it pretty accurate, especially since jeans are now seen as casual clothing and not something you are too proud to be wearing. I do see that many people opt for other denim pieces like shorts, shirts, and jackets rather than a good ol' pair of jeans. I agree with Leeann, jeans are a symbol of an era and have stayed to be part of fashion for quite a long time now. I mean I think sometimes people are just too pretentious, and want to continue to display a certain look that they are categorized with and rather not mess it up with a pair of "cheap jeans". I do admire people like Alexa Chung and Leandra Medine, who rock jeans so effortlessly and with a coolness that is just not from this galaxy. The latest issue of Teen Vogue, August 2012, spotlighted how to wear jeans and denim in different ways. It was all really cool and honestly I feel like there is something so suave about denim; something you can't get with other materials. So in the end, even though there are some people that steer away from jeans there are other who just can't get enough.

Coincidentally I was wearing jeans while reading the article. I had stopped wearing jeans for while. I stopped buying them and sooner or later I just opted to wear other types of pants. However it wasn't too long ago that I rediscovered a pair of pants that I used to wear in like 10th grade. I had stopped wearing the pair when I started wearing skinny jeans. Since I soon got tired of skinny jeans, I reappreciated this pair of jeans when I rediscovered them in the depths of my drawer. I also defied the whole casual label on jeans by pairing them with some pretty dressy shoes. Also I added my "barong" which my friend Gretchen told me is the name of the type of shirt I am wearing. Barongs are Filipino shirts, which are worn by men in Filipino weddings and cotillions. I don't care what the shirt is called, I just care that it is slightly revealing and it has pockets at the bottom of the front. It is all part of my intention to make jeans dressy.

Our family got a new puppy! It is more like my little cousin's dog, but she is staying with us so I tend to carry it a lot. I like to call it her dog, so I don't feel like I am cheating on the dog I already have. Anyways, here I am giving off Blake Lively and Penny vibes. Watch out Blake, there is a new bitch carrying bitch in town.  

But in all honesty, I am the biggest Blake Lively fan so this is my attempt to mimic her.

These are some roses in front of someone's yard. I quickly stole all the petals and ran. Gotta make my rose tea somehow. 

soak up the sun

Hanging out with my friend Aimee is always tons of fun. Ever since she moved schools we don't spend as much time as we would like to, but catching up with her is always treat. We used to be a menace in school and we were the ~*StYLe iCon$*~ of our school. Always imposing those new trends and what not. After a little thrifting, we went to get some coffee and analyze the latest issue of ELLE. I wore my Day of Silence shirt that I attempted to make 2 different colors (I wanted a color blocking effect). I recently found it and noticed it was perfect for the dip dye trend that is pretty popular nowadays. Im so trendy, catch me l8tr.

Here are some of my latest summer reads. The new H&M magazine issue likes to inspire me to get a job, and the Teen Vogue Handbook is always an inspiration. I love the Teen Vogue Handbook, especially right now when I'm about to start a new life. It really motivates me to keep my goals in my mind, and to always look for an opportunity.

the hills

My parents are self proclaimed joggers. They love jogging and hiking and all that fun and outdoor exercise. Most of the time I was dragged along; sometimes even forced to join along. I would try just to get it over with and enjoy the outdoors. While I walked up and down the hills, I would always get really inspired by the nature around me. I loved the sway of the tall dry grass, and the view was impressive. I knew I always wanted to make a blog post with pictures set on these hills. I never had the opportunity before because no one would come to my picture (I know it is a sad world). I knew that if I ever did get the opportunity to have a shoot here, I would wear my tribal vest; I found it appropriate seeing as the hills I was so inspired by were home to a native tribe. 

Now I finally got the opportunity to accomplish my idea not too long ago, when my friend told me that she knew a friend that had a sister that wanted to expand her portfolio. When I heard about it I was like "why not?! wouldn't hurt". So here I am modeling, while somebody takes my picture...you know no biggie. The day was so nice and the pictures came out nice in my opinion.

 

I remember the time I bought this vest. It was my first San Francisco thrifting experience. I believe it was my first purchase of the day too! It has a little sentimental value. When I was debating on getting it, all the workers from Buffalo Exchange were like "OMG that vest is sooo rad, I wanted it so badly". To some it didn't fit, or others had just procrastinated in picking it out from the racks. However, when I saw everyone drooling over it, I knew it had to be mine. It also made my parents FLIP when they saw it. I really don't know what it is about this vest that makes people...so weird. When my parents saw it for the first time, they questioned my sanity. They told me I was turning into a hippie, and they just ranted about how bohemian I was. I remember my mom said to me once, "DID LADY GAGA WEAR SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!? IS THAT WHY YOU WANT TO WEAR THIS?!?" and I said "NO MOM! IT IS WHO I AM GOSH!!!!". I once wanted to wear it to church and she told me 'I don't want you wearing a costume to church". I'm not going to lie, these days were one of the hardest days of my life. I was trying to express myself through my clothing and experiment, and my parents were my biggest obstacle. 

I remember the first time I wore this to school too. It was junior year, my debut year of the fashion diva of the school, I was getting off the bus (when I got off the bus it was always a catwalk, it was when I got my first stares of the day and really when I felt most self-conscious). I saw my friend Aimee and she was so almost in a cardiac arrest over my vest, but in a good way. I wore it with my moccasins, which I don't know if it was a good idea, because I got called Pocahontas all day. I liked the way the vest looked with my moccasins though, it may have been really theme-y, but I felt like it was appropriate. The vest always gets a lot of attention, but I mean it is for a good cause. 

 Here are some behind the scene shots that my friend took, while she tested her iPhone filter apps.

Abby was so nice and she said I was so photogenic *blush*. I am really happy that I finally got to do this shoot, it is one checked off from my list.